Put that shit on you

http://soundcloud.com/tashyak/put-that-shit-on-you

[The story- her lover leaves her
poem written from a female viewpoint]The light flickers
I see flashes of pictures
In instagram shades
of cheap motels and your morning razor blade
of stuck up cars and their bumper stickers
I remember one vividly that said- Shit happens!
I have found Krishna in those cheap stickers
It rains and then it rusts
it cuts the thin skin and then emotion bursts
If I think of it any harder, your blood will ooze out my ear holes
Yes, I have been dreaming of killing you

I meet more than a thousand assholes
who sell me lies- “it tastes better darling” they argue
they say lies would replace the stint of truth, replace you
A mothefucka even told me to try strayin a little
get to the street and try preying a little
to let my head sleep
while with someone i don’t know my body fiddles
I did
and I kept the lights on this time around
just to see clear into his eyes while he was fucking me
hoping he wouldnt lie straight into my eyes
and tell me
that it is me that he loved
as he shoved his damn business into the vacuum of my solitude
that i most normally use to Socialize !
and they all do it, they lie to my face
Just like you’d do

The lights are on again, I finally found a male prostitute
and the truth in his eyes was something to savor
he was there to fuck me, and he did that with total pleasure
I guess that must have been the best fuck ever
I paid him my agony dollars in silent moans
makes a man feel good, i have known !
I was wrong of what I had philosophized,
I didn’t find fucking a tramp made me wise.

The grass smells of dog shit
but it’s the only bed I don’t have sex on
so i hang my self without killing
against the green carpet and hope the sky would gravitate me in
into it’s blue depth,
the truth of sky is as fickle as it gets
it is something i can totally relate
I let everybody get to me
and suddenly I am Forgotten
I have stopped caring about where I am headed
because the glamor of tomorrow is a horror at stake
If i could control time, I’d go back
not to love him more or correct my mistakes
but to turn the table and move the stakes
to make believe of a love story
To put the scar on him before he puts it on me

-Samip Dhungel

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